


What the F**k Happened

by Killian (KillmyLogic)



Category: South Park
Genre: F/F, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, M/M, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Character Death, Past Drug Use, Past Relationship(s), Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2019-10-05 23:06:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17334116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillmyLogic/pseuds/Killian
Summary: Theodore Tucker wants to know how his parents ended up together, and how he came to be. He's confused and not sure how to express it, which is starting to cause him to disconnect with some of his only friends. Of course, he still shows up and still talks with them, but he seems to be slowly disappearing, as he pieces together different stories from different people to know the full story.





	1. The Part of A Chapter In Which Some Poor Bastard Is Interrogated And I Cannot Spell

XX/XX/2019

       “What happened when you were in South Park High?” Theodore looked over at his parents, demanding an answer for the both of them. Craig paused, to stare at his son for one moment as he then looked over to Stan. The drunkard of the two shrugged and glanced back over to Theo, as Craig nodded in reply. The two understood each other like some fucking magicians. He doesn’t understand how his parents do it, but that’s how it was.

       “Well, the whole story is pretty fucked up, Theo.”


	2. Chill the Fuck Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTAINS MURDER, VIOLENCE, A HOMOPHOBIC SLUR, AS WELL AS EXCESSIVE SWEARING.

XX/XX/2019

    The soft cold breeze of the night blew over a busy town and into a teenager’s room. The window was cracked open, and the tenant nowhere in sight as one of his fathers peered into his room with a disappointed sigh. His son had snuck off yet again, though it couldn’t have been helped. Everyone knows that now the chaotic kids have grown into chaotic teenagers, they’d be off and about on absurd adventures, even despite his worries. The father had already attempted to call the teenager several times, but to no avail. If his son hasn’t returned in time for school, he would likely call someone for help or tell his husband.

    The kid that lived there, on the other hand; he was a teenager with an aloof demeanor. He snuck out often with his friends- all to do random things only they could consider ‘fun.’ They all have their story. How they became friends, or how they became to be. It’s an odd universe, and certainly different from the one the teenager wished he was in.

    The teenager that this story focused on was Theodore Tucker. The one dressed in mostly black, and a red letterman jacket (with some white). He walked down the street, far away from his home towards his favorite fast food restaurant. He paused upon hearing the loud ‘Ping!’ of his phone, a text from his friend. His green eyes scanned the message as he stood there, in the middle of the dead street.

[Tough Boi -> VroomWheels]

[TB]:

[u there yet, what’s taking you so fucking long? you get caught?]

[VW]:

[no.]

[TB]:

[so where the fuck is you??]

[VW]:

[in the middle of the street.]

[TB]:

[why are you texting me in the middle of the fucking street? Move out of the fucking way, use the sidewalk!]

[VW]:

[there are no cars, i’m fine?]

[TB]:

[tough shit, get out of the fucking road and move onto the damn sidewalk!]

[VW]:

[k.]

    As instructed by his friend, Theo moved out of the street (so he wouldn’t get run over like some dumbass). He continued down the street, making only several turns before coming face-to-face with bright colors. Red and orange, the signature colors for any MacRonnie’s 24-hour fast food place. As Theodore stepped in, there was a soft ring from the bell attached to the door. He looked up for a moment to stare at the golden metal bell, before walking over to the same table his friends would always sit at. A round corner table pushed up against the windows nearby, and all three of his closest friends sitting at the four-seated table. The noirette sat down at the only empty seat, watching as one of his friends slid a cup over.

    “Got you your favorite- vanilla shake? Nobody's drunk out of it yet, so don’t fucking worry-” The ginger mentioned to Theo. It was Connor, the same person that texted him earlier.

    “Gracias, amigo.”

“You’re welcome,” Connor replied with a slightly faltering smile. His face expressed that he couldn’t quite understand what Theo was saying— despite piecing together different phrases with an action or hearing the teenager say it multiple times after something was done. Maybe he said ‘thank you?’

“So are we-” A blonde looked up, starting a sentence but was instantaneously cut off by someone else.

“Yeah, we are. But in the next thirty minutes at least, since the teachers sometimes don’t leave until six, seven?” Kace, Connor’s twin brother explained to Theodore as well as the blonde, Benji.

“Shh,” Theo used his left hand to point to an occupied table nearby. Two blonde(s), who are ‘friends’ of his. If the conversation was any louder, one of them might’ve heard. “Quiet down. Let’s just finish up eating in here, then go outside to discuss.”

“Theo’s right-”

“TheO’S aLWAyS RiGHT.”

“BecAuSe hE’S SmaRt, KacE.”

“ConnOr, You’Re JusT gaY.”

“Uno reverse card.”

“How dare you-” Kace let out an exaggerated, fake, offended gasp, to which Benji let out a small chortle. Kace’s head whipped around to stare at Benji, and the blonde shut himself up in response.

Theo rolled his eyes as he grabbed his vanilla shake off the table, and took a long slurp from the drink. He felt the cold of the smoothie rush to his head, and he whined in slight pain. Connor looked over when he heard the audible whining sound from Theo, and chuckled lightly.

“Dumbass.”

“You too.”

“I’m not the fucking idiot giving themselves a brain freeze every time he takes a drink from a shake or smoothie.”

“Incorrect, you do.”

“You right, you right.” Connor nodded in agreement, but soon shook his head afterward, with a grin on his face.

“Alright, well, let’s go discuss on our way-” Kace spoke up, and the rest of the group agreed to get up and walk right out of MacRonnie’s. Theodore looked behind the group, making an attempt to ensure the other two blonde ‘friends’ he saw weren’t following him.

“No estamos siendo seguidos,” Theo spat out as he relaxed into a more comfortable walking posture. The teenager looked at his friends’ confused faces and sighed, shrugging. No one else knows what he said, which, if anything, he just finds hilarious (and upsetting, but not too much). “We should hurry up.”

“Yeah. So, what are we looking for you guys?” Benji asked. He fiddled with his thumbs, his attention to the steps he took until he looked up at the end of his sentence, turning his body sideways to talk to the three other boys.

“Anything, really. If we see weird shit, then we see some weird fucking shit.” Connor waved his hands about as if he were blowing away the scent of foul-smelling perfume from his nose.

“We’re exploring,” Kace confirmed Connor’s statement, as Theo gave a thumbs up to a slightly concerned Benji. This is a cult of rule-breaking explorers, isn’t it? It is. It really is just a cult of teenage boys who probably shove their fists down people’s throats and do whatever. This is actually the least of everyone’s worries in South Park— the kids’ manners, that is. So is the crime, because the police are horrible down here as per usual, meaning that the police usually let kids and teenagers get away with bizarre things. However, the kind of crime the boys get in is usually far more ‘superior’ to half of the crime you see nowadays.

  
    That, in a sense, is concerning. Criminal intent is terrifying, depending on the crime of the day. Theodore spaced out, drawing a blank in his mind. Maybe he was thinking about the crimes that his own group of friends commit. But he wasn’t even thinking, so the sudden shrill, shrieking noise of a car halting to a stop as fast as it could before it went and hit the boys, well- scared him more than it scared the others. Loud noises and sudden motions weren’t exactly his forte- or, whatever the saying was, it was never his thing. The teenager shivered, and clutched onto the sides of his letterman jacket, letting out a loud huff. Cars. Drunk drivers. They’re so annoying. Theo had been clutching his teeth for quite a while now. His teeth bit onto his tongue so hard that it bled when he first heard the shrill shriek of the car halting to a stop as fast as it could. He was afraid- not terrified, perhaps mildly perturbed as he looked over to his friends, attempting to check and see if they’re okay. It was a habit.

“Hey, Theo. Are you okay, dude? You look shaken up,” a blonde asked- it was Benji. Of course- he was nice, kind of like one of his parents, actually. Perhaps both of his parents.

“Yeah, I’m…” The noirette paused as he resumed his old position, hands into his letterman jacket pockets, and he looked down to the cement road. “I’m fine. We should walk further away from the street,” he proposed while looking over to the rather angered intoxicated driver in the car, who just now honked at the group of kids. “Or we could try something else,” Theo suggested yet again, as he jerked his head towards the car.

“I’m driving!” Kace excitedly shouted, immediately getting the idea of what Theo had suggested. However, he was quickly cut off by his brother with a plain ‘No.’ Kace looked towards his twin with disappointment, before bolting towards the halted car. The more sensible of the twins bolted after the other, following after him.

“Kace, don’t you dare!” Connor shouted- but it was too late. Kace had already thrown the drunken driver out of his own car and dragged him to the curb. The driver kicked and shouted, which earned a square punch to the jaw to silence him. The ginger repeatedly stomped on to the driver’s head which was placed on top of the curb. The driver, who had been struggling previously grew lifeless after a few stomps to the head. The struggling only made it worse for him. Blood was left on the curb and on Kace’s shoes- the blood splatter only getting worse as the teenager continued to step on the lifeless body’s head. Benji watched, and so did Theodore. They weren’t frozen in fear, no, they were just waiting for something to happen. And then, something did- Kace’s twin brother Connor, stepped into the driver’s seat in place of Kace or the driver. Connor was driving now. Since Kace had still been distracted, Connor had to silently instruct Theo to get his brother whilst Benji got into the back seat. Theodore nodded, as he then moved to slowly approach the still frozen ginger twin.

“Dude, chill. Car. Vamos.” The noirette spoke to the ginger, and the ginger with an unreadable expression (which turned to confusion), stared at Theo.  
    “What- what are you saying?”

“PuTA, let’s GO to the CAr.” Theo shouted, while yanking the twin towards the car.

“Okay- okay, holy shit you fag,”  Kace exhaled softly, as he then entered the car- in the passenger’s seat, since his brother had already been in the driver’s seat. “Hey, we should leave Th-”

    “He’s already in the car.”

    “What?”

    “T is sitting in the car, in the seat behind you, right as you were about to suggest to leave him here, in the road.” Connor gestured to the teen, who’d just arrived in the back seat, and slammed the car door shut. Theodore seemed to blankly stare at Kace, to which he replied with a nervous chuckle.

    “Right- you guys, we should uh, start heading to the school now. We wouldn’t want those other two following us. They looked like they’d been up to something from the moment they walked in,” Benji suggested, as he buckled himself into the car and leaned forward to talk to the two twins up front.

    “Yuh. Benji’s right, homeboys. Oswald and Danielle aren’t good news when they’re in the same building as us.” Theodore added to Benji’s statement, as he leaned further into the seat. He didn’t even have his seatbelt on, like some sort of loser with no will to live. Which he might be.

    “Put your seatbelt on first, then I’ll listen.” Connor glanced to the back seats. Is this teenager in particular the mom friend of the group? Perhaps, but they’re all chaotic forces. There’s no true ‘mom friend,’ such a shame- because this cult of boys all worked together perfectly to commit any crime. And their next crime was just a mere exploration day, because they were curious of some dumb rumors happening about the school- their high school, which had been up for years. That’s what this entire dumb thing was about. Finding things.

    Without any words, as silence fell upon the group of four, the car started up as soon as Theodore buckled himself into the car. The car accelerated as Connor pressed on the gas pedal and sped down the street, made a hard U-turn in the middle of the road, then sped down the correct path towards South Park’s local, public high school.

    Vroom, vroom.


End file.
